My dog Raiden :)

Martial arts

So now that you know that i took up a second job to help take the stress off i didn’t realize the things i was giving up in the process, things like going to the gym where i used to spend 6 times a week at the gym turned into 3 times in the last 5 years, all the hard work i put into making myself healthy(i had been in phenominal shape for 9 years) went down the drain and i became fat and unhealthy relying on fast food and take out to eat so now well over 200lbs i am slowly killing my body.the second thing i lost was my friends… i had my tight group of about 10 guy friends and tons of other friends i would hang out with or talk but as my time starting to decapate so did the phone calls and the chats…. i havent seen my friends in a very long time and i came to the realization today that i actually dont have friends any more. i have no one to hang out with or talk to that i grew up with.

I have never been one to share or talk about how i feel inside because i have always thought it would be easier if the world didn’t really know. Sitting here for the first time i have a million things to say but probably not enough time to do so,how do i currently feel , well tired, i am always tired and it;s one of those things that bugs the hell out of me, the constant lack of energy or motivation to get a task done. i hate not being to able to do the things i love in life like spending time with my girlfriend or taking our dog to the dog park or on walks. i miss going to the gym and being as active as i was. i used to run everyday for at least a minimum of 40mins and then id still hit the gym for 2hrs 6 days a week because it made me feel stronger like i had control over something in my life and then things changed where i was forced to take a second job in order to pay back two loans i had taken out to help my mom out with her dream of being independent and a business owner. When that failed i was left with over $30,000 i had to pay for or destroy my credit, and so i took a second job working at a movie theater so that i could help myself accomplish this now overwhelming responsibility. having two jobs at first seemed so easy because i had flexability with my schedule and it was starting to take the pressure off of me.